This need makes us vulnerable to the influence of others both positively and negatively. This can be observed in young children in the preschool or school playground who observe that one or more children or adults are paying attention to an activity or action undertaken by one child or a group of children.
When other children see this they will often join in or copy what the child or group is doing. This need can also explain fads for certain toys, gadgets or clothing as children pester parents for the new “must have”.
The power of influencers is well known. Most of us can reflect on someone who has had a positive influence on our lives. Speaking to people about this they will usually nominate a teacher, work colleague or boss, grandparent, relative or friend.
Some of these influencers are role models; that is people that that you aspire to be like or have skills you would like to have. Others are great listeners and supporters who take the time to listen, and when rapport is established to coach and mentor if that is desired.
With increasing numbers of women not raising families of their own and teenage girls suffering from self esteem issues a new trend has emerged of “aunty influencers”. These aunties can be relatives or family friends.
They are typically single and of a similar age to the teenager’s parent. They have time to spend with teenagers and can often take them on outings to the shops, movies etc that provide some one on one time away from the usual family dynamics and often confrontational pattern of behaviour that teenagers set up with parents.
Through listening and positive encouragement aunties can build self esteem and provide an outlet for expressing teenage fears and hurt – being heard plays an important part in understanding issues and developing an understanding.
Having an aunty influencer can be a turning point for a teenager going through a very negative stage. Equally, an uncle can also be a positive influencer.
Denise Taylor is a regular contributor to WSBA’s Childscene and is general manager of A Grade Training and Education, a western Sydney based education business. Visit: www.agradetraining.nsw.edu.au
